Coming Home

My dad was discharged from the rehab facility he stayed in for about a month and into at-home hospice on March 19. Meanwhile, my peers are working through daycare complications and babies with their first colds! I know that there’s no timeline for life, but I just feel like I leapfrogged past where I thought I would be.

We picked up my dad from St. Joseph’s at 9:00 a.m. and then met with the hospice care team at 10:00 a.m. at my parents’ house.

Every time we visited my dad at rehab, he asked when we were going to take him home. It’s not a restful place; the staff are overworked and, I’m sure, underpaid. The result is a lot of noise, beeping, and very little attention. I stood with him, waiting for my mom to pull the car around and just took in the moment. The small, fleeting moment between the last phase and the next step. A moment of freedom.

I cried a lot the day we brought my dad home and I felt like it was evident the day after. We’d been through a little bit of a marathon for the previous six weeks with him in the hospital and then rehab. Now, at home with hospice in place and caregivers coming daily, I think we could finally all catch our breath. I have no issues crying, and I never have. I have learned not to bother with mascara for right now.

New Leaf

I repotted this monstera a few years ago and its temperament has been mercurial since then.

Maybe I was going through a dormant period this week, too.

I think everything was getting to me… the time change, the full moon, stress in every sphere of life. But it’s all manageable. I can handle it all, especially after a nap.

Lunar Eclipse

Time change and full moon in the same week!

Every morning, I see and hear the crows chattering away in the trees all around the neighborhood. This particular morning, with the crow illuminated against the glowing and golden full moon, the imagery for this comic popped into my head. I really like the way this turned out.

Time Changes

The first day after the time change, it was cold and rainy here. So, we got up early and had no extra daylight in exchange for this hardship. I rage against daylight savings because we don’t need it. The animals, nature, our bodies do not need to shift the clock!! I think that daylight savings is a scam that further alienates us from our humanity and connection with nature.

Well, okay. I hate it until I get a few more precious hours of outside time after being released from the fluorescent light prison of the workplace.

I’ll correct my own record and say that I actually do enjoy cooking. It’s just more enjoyable when you get to do it for friends and family rather than an obligatory chore at the end of a long day. My feelings on meal prep are previously documented here.

Scolded at the Vigil

So, to clarify, I was talking because a guy who’s running for state house was telling me about his campaign. AND I didn’t realize that the vigil had started because the sound system wasn’t working very well.

Despite all that, it was really uplifting to be around like-minded people who are in support of Ukraine in their fight against Russia. Faith leaders from around the community shared poems, prayers, and songs.

What’s that? Another metaphor for feeling lost in life? Just when you think I’ve exhausted these visualizations, I come up with another one. This comic was inspired by the feeling of driving somewhere new, when it feels like it’s taking forever. An old friend had a rule about waiting 15 minutes after you feel like you’re going the wrong way— that’s usually enough time to realize that you are, in fact, on the right track. Sometimes, you just need to be patient.

Round and Round We Go

Existential crisis pt. deux. I was getting caught up in my hamster wheel life and the mundanity of it all.

So, when I got tired of my life, I decided to draw this cheeky little dragon instead. I’m really fond of his evil but cute expression in the first panel.

See, fire can be destructive, but if it’s used in small doses, it’s productive. Think matches for candles, pilot lights, and starting a fire to make s’mores. So while it’s tempting to blaze everything in your path, if you let things out gradually instead, you can keep things under control and not destroy the village and everything in your path. And now you know.

Smaller Then

Spring is coming! Felix and I love walking through our local parks, including the Campbell Field and the Boyd Tract. It’s heartening to see the signs of spring popping up. I saw a cherry tree blooming amidst a stand of bare, gray trees, and it looked like she was a beautiful dancer making her way out of the shadows and into the spotlight.

My brother and I were reminiscing about our grandparents’ old farm in Virginia. We got to spend time in some pretty magical places as kids. Whether we were looking for arrowheads at my grandma’s horse farm after a rainstorm, riding ponies, or taking tractor rides with my grandpa, being outside meant having adventures. Maybe that’s why I find being outside so restorative now.

Who Are They Making Pants For?

I don’t think it helped that I tried on the jeans at the end of the day right after I had eaten a burrito bowl. Two of my favorite pairs of jeans just got the dreaded inner thigh blowouts, so I need to replace them but it is proving to be difficult.

February absolutely flew by. I ended it with a very fun and productive meeting with some like-minded creative folks. I was new to the group and just threw out ideas like the magical idea fairy I am wont to be.

Is there Wifi on This Desert Island?

When I started this project on January 1, I did not expect to have something to say every day. But, that’s in large part because I was not allowing myself any space to ponder. I’m not saying I sit down every day with a brilliant idea, but carving out time to sit and be present has deepened my connection with myself. I’m finding this has been a very valuable addition to my life!

Update: I took Charlie to the pet store and he was soooooo happy! He picked out some pot roast-flavored treats and I selected some calming peanut butter. I’m hoping that the peanut butter will be a useful bribe so that I can make my comics in the evening, undisturbed. The shop is Urban Pet Co— they are so sweet!

Sidenote— Charlie’s tail is so expressive! The second and third panels really capture how his tail goes from cautiously down to inquisitively up.

Some Days You're the Crow, Some Days You're the Pizza

I managed not to slip on any of the snow or ice, but a tree root took me down! Felix was not bothered. Charlie was very alarmed and ran back to me with his hackles up. I was relatively unscathed except for a bruise on my knee and a scrape on my knuckle— which is still healing as I write this almost two weeks later!

It’s prescribed burn season in the sandhills. Controlled burns are an integral part of forest management and necessary for the growth of the longleaf pines. Even though I know this, it can still be unsettling to see huge clouds of smoke rising in the sky. That has to be an evolutionary feature of being a human, right? But the fires make way for spring and for growth.

On this day, I was also thinking about how I live so much of my life in a little 2-4 block radius. I really love all the characters that I see every day and it’s comforting to remember that I’m part of the ecosystem.

Maybe Solve a Murder?

We actually got 2-3 hours of snowflakes gently falling outside! I was cozy on the couch, working from home with the pups and watching it swirl down.

I think I could actually excel at running an inn! Well, some parts, anyway. I would want to be the event coordinator and organize activities. I think I could also help with managing reservations and marketing. Then, we just need someone to be the repair person/carpenter, someone to do the accounting, housekeepers, front desk attendants. Plus investors. Okay, fine! Maybe I’m fine with being a librarian. Everything seems quaint and romantic until it’s time to unclog a toilet.

Smile Lessons

My dad can still turn on the charm.

It’s been a long few weeks. My dad is currently in a rehab facility where he will regain some strength before returning home to receive care. Now, he’s smiling less and has entered the “Take me home!” part of the journey. If he has enough strength to be irritated, I’m taking that as a good sign.

February Malaise

I’ve been feeling kind of “blah” lately. I think it’s just winter dragging on, plus the worry and stress of my dad being sick. I’m just not feeling very peppy.

But the ice/snow days did afford me time to have a Bridget Jones marathon. The new movie is so cute! I felt like it was a return to form of the first movie after the middle two were really not that great. I love Bridget’s narrative voice and, just like Liz Lemon, she’s a character that seems more and more relatable with age.

Whoo-sa

It’s a great time for a little breathing exercise. Let’s try it, okay?

On Valentine’s Day, a hawk ate a squirrel right outside the library. I have never, ever seen a hawk in the wild that close! He sat right on a bench and ate the squirrel for about thirty minutes. Maybe it was gruesome, but hawk’s gotta eat.

Later that afternoon, I visited my dad at the hospital. He was asleep so I sat with him for a moment and watched over him as I imagine he did so many times when I was a baby. The next day, I went back to visit and cried— hence the realization above.

This page is not my favorite in my sketchbook so far. I wish the colors were more cohesive and everything got muddy in the section about the breathwork class. To be fair to myself, I was feeling pretty out of it by the time I got home to draw that evening. The class was intense and I felt woozy and out of it. It’s not something I could do all the time, but I can absolutely appreciate the benefits.